Hoomans are weird and today I shall explain. I will start with something simple. If there is food in front of me, I will eat it (only if I like it). I will certainly not click a photo of the food first. I understand that the food smells delicious but what is the point of clicking a photo? Hoomans told me it is for Pawstagram! I was genuinely flabbergasted – yes, dogs can also have a rich vocab – about hoomans prioritising photos over food. Likes will not feed a hungry dog.
Last weekend I went to do my grocery. Apparently, there is no free lunch. Even my lunch comes at a cost – I had to step out to do grocery instead of snoozing in bed on a Saturday afternoon. That was only the beginning. What followed was exhausting.
At the store, I was being repeatedly tugged at by the mothership. She thought I was barking without a reason. But I was only greeting the paw pals who I could not see but sniff. She did not even allow me to mark (she calls it pee, by the way). The humans at the store were more understanding – they said I was behaving perfectly normally. It was about time that someone said this to my hoomans, glad they did.
As soon as I was beginning to think that the hoomans at the store were smart, they too broke my myth by asking me to pose for a photo. Once again, a photo!!! And this time to hang on the Christmas tree. First, I do not understand why a tree does not smell like one. Second, have you ever seen a tree decorated with photos? I am telling you, hoomans are losing it.
Finally, hoomans paid for the grocery from my allowance money and we left for home. Beat this – after we reached home, hoomans again made me pose for photos, this time with the food packs. When they saw I was not interested, they lied to me about having chimken. I am not the one who gets fooled so easily, I could not smell chimken so I did not pose…period.
Need I explain further why hoomans are weird and guess what they sometimes tell me things that are not true. Occasionally they shout – Oh, Bella is here, but she is not. Bella is my buddy and hoomans know that I tilt my head with happiness on hearing her name and they want to record videos, I realised later. Nowadays I only yawn thinking how long this will go on before the hoomans calm down. I doubt they will as long as Pawstagram exists.
Before you go, read my last o’paw’nion piece here